Not Alone- Meditation on Marriage, living together, getting married in the church and living apart from Jesus and the like…

It’s not good to be alone.

I say this as someone who enjoys being alone, having my peace and quiet time and being by myself. While I know there are is a group of you that feel the exact opposite, you thrive being in the company of others at parties and even crowds I’m know there some of you who feel the same as I do, we need our quiet time so we can be with others without getting grumpy. So when God speaks these words to the man in Genesis 2, it has to go beyond basic preferences and personality types, but something more universal, more fundamental to our existence.

To be alone in this Biblical sense is so much more like there is something greater than you are being a part of something bigger than we can be by ourselves.

It’s not good to be alone.

Jesus says today in Mark: “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.” In popular romantic words we say things like, “you complete me” or “you fill a hole in my heart.” Things like that, while it may be meant sincerely they are not the healthiest of ideas. The best way to enter into a marital relationship is to be as healthy as we can be on our own, (knowing we always will bring baggage to the relationship) and coming into the relationship as a whole person because being together is the best for both of us. Because this idea of one flesh, is not a merging and losing of who we are or missing a part that the other person fills, but a creating of something new, a one flesh, a new kind of creation.

This passage talks about marriage, there has been so much debate recently and argument about marriage, the supreme court ruling changing the definition of marriage, protests and celebrations in the street and Christians of good conscience falling on different sides of the conversation. But does the state decide what a marriage looks like, is marriage in a godly sense a contract and piece of paper and going down to the courthouse, is it having the ceremony in a sanctuary because you like the stained glass or going down to the beach, living together, getting engaged and living together, married at the courthouse but living apart from Jesus, is marriage a write off on my taxes? The things is, there are many relationships that can be considered “marital”, because in the union of the two you are becoming a part of a mechanism that God created for our good, a mechanism we can use for what is Godly or for our own selfish purposes.

Even I Corinthians 6:16 talks about it this way, “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh,” Or Jesus in Matthew 5:28 “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart,” all this including the casual lustful glance to viewing inappropriate images on a screen.

In all of these kinds of relationships (because they are still interaction with another in a marital way) what is this one flesh, this new creation, that is being created, is it a creation that you would feel proud showing to God and saying see what we have done? Or is it a creation that because of how it is being produced is distorted and twisted, selfish and hurtful or weak and malnourished? The mechanism that God created for our good called marriage can be used rightly or wrongly, in opposition to God’s desires or by the grace of God striving to line up with what God says is good for us and producing a creation that is pleasing to God and good in His eyes.

In Scripture it tells us that the marital relationship, this mechanism God created, ultimately is a picture of Jesus Christ and us.

It’s not good to be alone.

Apart from the love of God in Jesus we can do nothing, that is in this way, we cannot create something that is beautiful and wonderful in the eyes of God.

Alone, that is apart from God, we run around and join ourselves to ideas and things, whether it is love of money or love of self, married to alcohol or married to our jobs, in bed with sin and in bed with gossip and jealousy. You understand. In all of these marriages entering into the mechanism that God created for our good but we so often use wrongly. What else do these kinds of marriages create and produce but a creation that is hurtful, twisted, broken and wrong. James 1 says, “Then (evil) desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” These marriages done apart from God actually create death and produce eternal separation from God.

But when God brings us into a relationship with Him, not only are we not alone, but we are married to God through Jesus, we become one flesh in God’s love. This Godly marriage produces faith and faith produces hope and hope produces love, love for God and Godly love for our neighbor. God will never abandon those He is married to and will always bring them to be with Him eternally. We cannot, at all, do this on our own, we cannot produce this new creation that is called salvation, it can only be made when we are married to God through the love of Jesus.

It’s not good to be alone.

As true as this is in our marital relationships it is true in our other relationships as well.

Not that we are deficient or faulty by ourselves, but we are meant to be in relationship with others so this new thing can be created, that is greater than who we are alone, a new entity, a new being that praises God and exists for His glory. Think of it as Jesus in the center holding our hands and together we produce wonderful God-pleasing creations. The church is one of those creations that cannot exist without the love of God in the center and without each other in Christian love. If we take ourselves away from the Church, the church is less than it should be and we are not part of that which produces the wonderful God-pleasing thing, if we take Christ away there is no longer anything holding us together or creating what is beautiful in God’s eyes. But only when we come together in this godly-type of marriage we become a family in Christ with Him at the center holding our hands so that we can produce the Church that exists for the praise and honor of God. We cannot do this alone we need Jesus and we need each other.

It’s not good to be alone.


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